The Hangover

Imagine if you will, you've fallen in love with a young maiden named Caroline.  She was sweet, beautiful, and brought joy and passion into your life for one night.
Now imagine you wake up in your own puke on your bedroom floor.  Caroline robbed you of give or take $40, beat the living shit out of you, and probably gave you a concussion.  She partially undressed you and put your cat in the sink.  She hid your phone in a different room of the house.
Caroline was gone, but she left you with a horrible STD.

Now replace 'Caroline' with 'vodka' and 'STD' with hangover.

Probably the biggest downside to drinking (besides financial difficulties) is the lingering effect the morning after.  If you're like me, you don't generally get too hungover.  I can function enough to go about my day (with minimal complaining).  I might throw up once or twice but generally speaking, my hangovers aren't too bad.

That is, unless I black out.

Those of you unfamiliar with blacking out... it's like being a little kid, when you'd fall asleep on the couch and your dad would carry you to bed.  You'd wake up with no fucking idea how you got there.  Same idea, only more embarrassing.

My favourite...
Summer 2011 - waking up at a friend's house (the house I pre-drank at, within walking distance of the destination.  I wasn't too alarmed or surprised, just relieve to make it home in one piece).  It wasn't until much later that I learned the truth of what happened to blackout Dallas.  My friend Taylor filled me in...
On her walk home the previous night, her and her friends took the shortcut in Bridgewater from the suburb-y area down behind the Dairy Queen.  On their walk down, they stopped, abruptly.  They saw a body.  At this point in the story, I interjected to ask if it was a dead body.  She responded with "I thought so... but then we got closer... and realized... it was you."
YEP, I was found behind the Dairy Queen, unconscious. After trying to run from the people who were only trying to help me, they through me in a cab and sent me on my way.

Although I don't get too hungover... you should meet my friend - we'll just call her "that DRUNK girl!"  Following a night on the town, she'll awake, smelling of tequila, Dolan's, and cigarettes.  Clutching her Brita, she forms a cocoon out of blankets and remains inside, only emerging as a butterfly after a minimum of 24 hours of rest.

How to avoid the hangover?  Don't drink in the first place!  But if the thought of a sober Friday is too daunting for you, alternate with water and you'll wake up feeling like 1,000,000 bucks!

Now, if I only I could take my own advice...

SO!  To recap: ... don't fuck Caroline, she'll leave you with an STD.  The grass behind Bridgewater's Dairy Queen is NOT a comfortable place to sleep, and a Brita/blanket cocoon can fix anything.

Cheerzzzz
@powertequila