Tuesday, January 22, 2013

why winter sucks and why you can't convince me otherwise

In case you haven't noticed, it's fucking cold outside.  Like, REALLY cold.  I almost started crying walking out to my car because that's how cold it was... the only thing that stopped me was the fear that my tears would instantly freeze, causing my eyes to freeze shut.

Anyway, here's why Winter sucks!

1. Driving.
For those of you who don't really know me, driving on less-than-perfect road conditions is one of my biggest fears.  I have winter tires and a shitty fucking car that stalls all the time reasonably well-functioning vehicle, so there shouldn't really be any fear, right?  WRONG.  The slightest slide sends me into a fit of near panic - never mind the fact that I don't go over 20km/hr when it's even a little snowy or icy.  People driving too close to my car when the roads are shitty get on my nerves too - what if they lose control of their car, slide into my cautiously driven car, and KILL THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF ME?
Another major annoyance is wind my windshield is frosted up from the cold... taking an eternity to defrost, of course.  This makes me late, wastes my gas, and causes me to slowly freeze to death waiting in my car, as it hasn't had the chance to heat up yet.

2. Temperature.
I've said this time and time again - I would honestly rather be uncomfortably hot than uncomfortably cold.  I've said this while I'm in sweltering heat in the middle of July - "you know... as shitty as this is, it beats being too cold any day."  You know why?  Cold physically hurts.  Heat is just uncomfortable.  I don't think "too hot" has ever caused me to feel physical pain (in terms of weather, obviously touching the stove or anything to that effect would hurt).  Too cold is the most painful thing imaginable IMO.

3. Everyone is sick.
Who get sick in the summer?  No one!  (Well, that's not entirely true, but still, look around - how many people do you see with the sniffles now when compared with July?  Exactly.)


and here's Why you Can't Convince me Otherwise

1. I don't ski.
Or snowboard.  Or skate.  Or go sledding (though I admit, that one is pretty fun).

2. Hot chocolate is still good any month of the year.
Do I enjoy hot chocolate on a hot summer's day?  You bet your ass I do!

3. Snow isn't pretty.
GRASS is pretty.