five MORE things that piss me off

1. LITTLE KIDS WHO ONLY WANT KETCHUP ON THEIR BURGERS.

This is probably the least rational thing to be mad at, but I tell you, nothing irks me more than when a little kid is ordering food and asks (or, because they're stupid kids, get their mom to ask) "just ketchup on the burger."  

Stop being picky and eat your fucking onions.

The weirdest part about this one is that it doesn't bother me if any other age group at all does it.  Say I'm with one of my friends who is 20 years old.  They order a burger and ask for just ketchup. I'm 100% okay with that.  You're 75 and you just want ketchup?  Sure!  But you're 6 and just want ketchup?  EJSFAKOEDwkfjaok

2. THE OLYMPICS.

I'm going to get hated on for this.  Which is another one of my pet peeves, getting hated on for hating on the Olympics.

I want to watch the Simpsons sometimes.  It's hilarious.  You know what's not hilarious?  Asian women diving.  Naturally, you can understand my frustrations when the Olympics takes over the time slot originally reserved for quality cartoon entertainment.

Aren't there already entire CHANNELS dedicated to sports?  Why not restrict the Olympics to there?  Big Brother doesn't come on and pre-empt fucking tennis over TSN.  So the Olympics shouldn't come do the same to Global.

3. PEOPLE WHO CALL KELLY CLARKSON FAT.

It bothers me that one of the most common comments on her YouTube videos is something related to her weight.

Kelly Clarkson isn't fat, internet troll.  You are fat.

4. MOVIES THAT TRY TO BE MORE REALISTIC BY USING SHITTY CAMERA WORK.

You know which ones I mean... Paranormal Activity, Cloverfield, Blair Witch Project, etc, in which one of the main characters carries around a camera/sets up hidden cameras/etc in order to make the movie feel more "real."

What the director of Paranormal Activity probably hoped I'd think:

"Man, this is so scary.  I bet this really happened, because this was all caught on hidden camera, no cameramen in sight."

What I actually thought:

"Who sets up several hidden cameras in their house overnight?  Furthermore, who carries around a camera all over the fucking place when it's obvious they're in grave danger.  I get that scary shit is happening in the middle of the night, but this is the most unrealistic thing I've ever seen."

This isn't saying that horror movies are generally realistic, but simply saying that this doesn't help make it any more scarier.  Instead, it just gives me two hours of headaches as a result of shaky camerawork.

5. MUSIC VIDEOS THAT DON'T IMMEDIATELY START WITH THE SONG
I just youtube'd the video for 'When You Were Young" by the Killers.  It wasn't until 1:27 that the song started playing.  WHO ACTUALLY ENJOYS MUSIC VIDEOS SO MUCH THAT THEY'D PREFER EIGHTY FUCKING SEVEN SECONDS OF SOME UGLY ASS BITCH CRYING ON A CROSS?  NO ONE.  I JUST WANTED TO HEAR THE SONG FOR SOME REASON.