Have you ever worked in a restaurant, clothing store, department store, or any place that involves serving the general public? I HAVE! Between three fast food places, I've had my fair share of idiot customers who I really want to throw scalding hot water at, but have to refrain and tell them to have a great night.
Well, if you've been around the job pool at all, you'll know exactly how that feels.
Apparently, 75% of the population is under the false pretense that they are the second coming of Christ and should be treated as such. In reality, most of these people come in smelling of pine trees, beer, cigarettes, and are wearing their best stained Trailer Park Boys tee and/or mismatching plaid ensemble.
Anyhow, here are some common things that douchebags like to do to the lovely cashiers all over the place:
1. Accusing you of overcharging them.
Firstly, I have zero say in how much we charge for our food. I punch in exactly what you want, then simply tell you the total. You know, the prices are located conveniently right above my head... maybe take a look and next time, you won't be so surprised that your order for you and your seven obese children and probably alcoholic husband came to "so much."
The best part of this though is being able to condescendingly read their order back to them when they yell "WHAT DID YOU CHARGE ME FOR?" They look shocked that, hey, the cashier didn't fuck up. Then they shut their mouths and wait for their food.
2. Informing you that "all of the tables are dirty."
You know what, you fucking bitch? It's busy. Sorry I haven't had the chance to stop serving New Brunswick's biggest idiots and clean up their tables.
Usually, however, the tables aren't dirty. I've had people on SEVERAL occasions bitch about the tables; I've then gone out and found that maybe three of them are dirty. Maybe don't sit at one of the three dirty tables and sit somewhere else? How does that sound? Does that sound like something you can handle?
3. "I'll have a medium fountain drink."
Okay. There are SEVEN DIFFERENT FUCKING KINDS OF MOTHERFUCKING FOUNTAIN POP. TELLING ME YOU WANT 'FOUNTAIN POP' ISN'T REALLY THAT SPECIFIC.
It's even worse when I have to ask "okay, well we have seven different kinds of fountain pop, which would you like?" and they say "what?" I hate repeating myself. Especially when it's a question that really shouldn't have had to be asked in the first place.
4. "I didn't order this!"
Yes, you did. I repeated it back to you and you confirmed it. This is your fault you stupid fucking whore.
My god, I'm getting angry typing this out...
5. "YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME MY SENIOR'S DISCOUNT!"
YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR IT!
6. Any time that a customer tries to talk to me about whatever sport is in season.
Should be self-explanatory... I don't follow/care about/like/understand sports. Please don't ask me who's playing who, or how many medals Canada's won. I don't know. Like, why would someone just assume that? I don't go to restaurants and ask the cashier how much they liked the Criminal Minds finale. So don't ask me about sports.
7. The coffee thing (couldn't think of a concise title for this)
It's 7:00pm. Do you really need coffee that bad?
Customers (almost exclusively seniors) will occasionally come in and ask if we have coffee - we do, but there's not usually any ready after morning. I usually say some variant of "there's none ready right now, but I can put a pot on for you if you'd like," hoping that they'll be polite and just get pop like a normal person.
Nope.
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