A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was telling a story about how an escalade she was driving in (whether she was driving or a passenger, I don't know) hit a moose. I've never actually seen a moose in person before, but apparently irrationally driving down the road with a big mac in one hand and my cell phone in the other whilst proclaiming "I OWN THE ROAD!" to anyone I almost kill is NOT going to help save me in the event that I should hit a moose. My parents (ie, mom, seeing as how she's a woman driver) have hit DEER before, so naturally I assumed that a moose would be just like that, only with horns. (Do deer have horns?) Anyway, my point is that my friend lived to tell the tale, so congrats to her!
I understand that the above was probably disorganized, grammatically incorrect, and probably just generally confusing to read... but I have an excuse! No, I'm not drunk. I'm sleep deprived!
A few weeks ago we got the brilliant idea of driving to Moncton (an hour and a halfish away from Fredericton) to watch the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Considering the fact that I got little sleep last night, watching a 2-and-a-half hour movie STARTING at midnight might not have been my best decision.
But anyway, I watched the movie, struggling to stay awake. When we left the theater (approximately 2:30am), my friends were all concerned with whether or not I was okay to drive. I bitterly assured them that I was, and got behind the wheel. BAD IDEA. I might as well have been drunk.
I think I looked something like this:
1. I was in no condition to be driving.
2. My theory about sleep deprivation improving artistic ability was not proven.
At any rate, I got us back in one piece. I should note that I absolutely LOVED the movie, I kinda realized how bitter I sound about the entire night. Meh, I'm just tired.
On a completely unrelated note, I think I might be an alcoholic.
This realization came to me the other day when I realized how healthy I felt - coincidentally I hadn't had a drink in nearly a week. I started thinking... "shit, is this what humans are supposed to feel like? Usually I feel like I got hit by a bus, I thought that was normal." Turns out feeling like you got hit by a bus on a regular basis might be an indication of alcoholism.
Whenever accused of being an alcoholic, I'd usually retort with one of the following arguments:
1. I don't drink alone.
This is a good point! Most alcoholics sit at home, wearing a wifebeater, watching the game, and getting sloshed without any company. When I drink, I seldom ever sit down, I never wear a wifebeater or watch any kind of game, and to reiterate - I don't drink alone.
2. I don't drink to deal with emotions.
Some people turn to alcohol as a means of coping with stress, anger, sadness, etc... Not me! I do it for the sole reason of having a good time... and what's wrong with a little fun once in awhile? I know that recreational drinking isn't the safest form of having fun, but hey, it could be worse... I could take pleasure in dealing drugs, drive-by shootings, putting on a blindfold then driving around Fredericton... etc. But I don't.
3. Drinking is good for you!
Probably my weakest argument. I've heard that a glass of red wine a day is good for you... other studies that I've happened upon also argue that small amounts of other liquor are good for you too. I don't think this applies to binge drinking though... now I'm wondering why I even try to use this as an argument... umm...
I also thought of another reason why my drinking may have become a bit excessive... I tend to buy things that contain high levels of something called "antioxidants" because someone told me once that they're good for your liver. I have absolutely no idea if that's true, but I've been buying crystal light with antioxidants, green tea, and dark chocolate for a long time now to try and salvage what's left of my liver. Now that I think of it, I really have no fucking clue what antioxidants are, nor do I know if they have any positive effect on the liver.
Speaking of livers, did you know that drinking is bad for other organs as well? Such as the brain, pancreas, and heart? It really seems like a self-destructive hobby... maybe I'll start something else, like collecting stamps, or reading to the blind.
I hope you feel enlightened or something. I feel like I need to go to bed. It's closing in on 5am.
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