First was Norma Jean. I pulled into the high school and, in an attempt to look as badass as possible, pulled up right next to her car and gave her a menacing look:
I texted Cody when were outside his house...
Me: We're outside!
Cody: Give me five minutes.
Norma Jean: Tell him that he has two minutes, and since we've already been waiting for two minutes, we're leaving!
Unfortunately, Cody made it out in time and got into the car, complaining about the lack of space in the backseat due to all of the suitcases.
The next step should probably have been hooking up the GPS with directions to the mic mac mall, but naturally I'm too hotheaded to use it so I just decided to wing it instead...
Fortunately, Norma Jean knew where we were going, probably saving us from getting lost in Dartmouth. When stopped at a light in the middle of Dartmouth, this happened:
When we got to the bridge, traffic was murder - the cause of which was a reasonably damaged car with an elderly woman behind the wheel - proving that
a) the elderly can't drive
and b) women can't drive.
We assumed the old woman was on her way to H&M when someone rear-ended her... but instead of sympathy, cries of "F*CK YOU!" and other obscenities were hurled at the poor, probably injured and senile old woman, as she made us about 20 minutes behind schedule. When we FINALLY arrived at the mall, we had maybe an hour and half before it closed.
I irrationally went into H&M and bought a lot of things without actually considering whether or not they'd fit or look good on me - they were either bright or cheap or neither of those things because I was just so fucking excited to be in H&M that I had to buy everything. Cody's girlfriend warned him that H&M was essentially a clothing store for women and gay men, but he was convinced that he would find something. Approximately 10 seconds after we walked in he said, "wow, this store is really, really gay." He later admitted that he found a pair of jeans that weren't skinnies - but then it turned out that they were skinnies, and instead of a zipper there were three buttons. He didn't buy anything.
After a quick dinner of taco bell and smoothies, we were headed to Truro to pick up Renee.
As we approached Truro, an overwhelming stench filled the car, smelling like
"bad gravy" - Norma Jean
"tires" - Me
"garbage!" - Cody (clever...)
The unpleasant odor made us certain that Truro was not far off in the distance. Something about Truro, NS makes me really, really happy that I don't live there. I can't really put my finger on it, I'm just really happy that I've never lived closer than two hours away from there.
Anyway, we picked up Renee in the parking lot of Wendy's, piled her suitcases on top of her due to a lack of room in the car, and were Fredericton bound!
About 3 minutes after leaving Truro, I noticed that the light came that indicates that one of the four doors or trunk doors was open. I made everyone open and close their door as I was speeding down the highway just to ensure our safety (my God I'm full of wonderful ideas...)
The three passengers all achieved this without incident... I, however, barely opened the door with one hand, while trying to go around the corner with the other hand while all the while keeping an eye on my blackberry to make sure it didn't fly out of the door. The end result was my door remaining partially opened and the conclusion that it was now both my door and the trunk door that were still somewhat open. I finally decided that the safest thing to do would be to pull over and close the trunk door. I did it, probably saving our lives in the process (you're welcome, guys).
Nothing of interest happened from Truro to Sackville. Cody and Renee slept while Norma Jean and I talked about the most random possible topics we could think of in the front seat.
When we pulled into the thriving city of Sackville, NB to drop Norma Jean off, Renee questioned whether or not we were at Acadia University - a school several hours away and in a different province. I told her that no, we weren't several hours away and in a different province but were instead at Mount Allison university. She said "I don't fucking know the difference!" Classy.
Anyway, I went to the gas station and spent a few minutes trying to find a pump that wasn't one of those "pay at the pump ONLY" stations then filled up on gas. I made the mistake of buying one of those five hour energies and consequently drove unnecessarily fast to make it back to Fredericton.
We listened to songs that have been out for at least five years (thanks, ipod!) and talked about a variety of things - occasionally Renee would wake up from her slumber and contribute to the conversation. In what felt like hours but was probably only 90 minutes due to reckless driving, we made it to Fredericton in one piece.
And now I'm in my room, alive and happy to be back in the big city : )
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